In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

The Librarian looked out at the jolting scenery. He was sulking. This had a lot to do with the new bright collar around his neck with the word 'PONGO' on it. Someone was going to suffer for this.
Ridcully found out it was cheaper to ship an animal than to pay a person's fare.

'Kneel and deliver!'
Casanunda, the worlds smallest lover, turns highwaydwarf.

"I'm a giant," said Casanunda.
"Giants are a lot bigger."
"I've been ill."
Indeed, 'Outrageous Liar' is actually printed on Casanunda's business card.

Nanny Ogg never did any housework herself, but she was the cause of housework in other people.

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

"Bandits' Guild," said the coachman. "Forty dollars per head, see. It's a kind of flat rate."
"What happens if we don't pay it?" said Ridcully.
"You end up flat."

Mustrum Ridcully did a lot for rare species. For one thing, he kept them rare.

Using a metaphor in front of a man as unimaginative as Ridcully was like a red flag to a bu-- was like putting something very annoying in front of someone who was annoyed by it.

The thing about iron is that you generally don't have to think fast in dealing with it.

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

The chieftain had been turned into a pumpkin although, in accordance with the rules of universal humour, he still had his hat on.

For Magrat, stepping into a man's bedroom was like an explorer stepping on to that part of the map marked Here Be Dragons.

'I wants your body, Mrs Ogg.'
'I'm still using it.'
Casanunda makes his move -- Nanny counters.

'I know she's in there,' said Verence, holding his crown in his hands in the famous Ai-Senor-Mexican-Bandits-Have-Raided-Our-Village position.

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
Schrodinger's Moggy explained.

"Oh, yes, there's a Mr Ogg," said Nanny. "We buried him years ago. Well, we had to. He was dead."

Remember, A Dragon is For Life, Not Just for Hogswatchnight
Motto of The Sunshine Home for Sick Dragons in Morphic Street, Please Leave Donations of Coal by Side Door.

The place looked as though it had been visited by Gengiz Cohen.
[ footnote: hence the term 'wholesale destruction'. ]

'This is a lovely party,' said the Bursar to a chair, 'I wish I was here.'
The Bursar is a man under a lot of stress.

No matter what she did with her hair it took about three minutes for it to tangle itself up again, like a garden hosepipe in a shed.
[ footnote: Which, no matter how carefully coiled, will always uncoil overnight and tie the lawnmower to the bicycles.]

And the child had a permanently runny nose and ought to be provided with a handkerchief or, failing that, a cork.

It was here that the thaum, hitherto believed to be the smallest possible particle of magic, was succesfully demonstrated to be made up of resons.
[ footnote: Lit.: 'Thing-ies' or reality fragments. Currently research indicates that each reson is itself made up of a combination of at least five 'flavours', known as 'up', 'down', 'sideways', 'sex appeal' and 'peppermint'. ]

Nanny Ogg had a pragmatic attitude to the truth; she told it if it was convenient and she couldn't be bothered to make up something more interesting.

Chain-mail isn't much defence against an arrow. It certainly isn't when the arrow is being aimed between your eyes.

It's not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy.

The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: 'Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear?' And the correct answer is: 'Hey, whatever I select.'

"Animals can't murder. Only us superior races can murder. That's one of the things that sets us apart from animals."

"When I married Mr Ogg, we had three dozen oysters at our wedding feast. Mind you, they didn't all work."

Stone circles were common enough everywhere in the mountains. Druids built them as weather computers and since it was always cheaper to build a new 33-MegaLith circle than upgrade an old slow one there were generally plenty of ancient ones around.
Plus ca change...

"And if you don't tell me everything you know right now I'll make you regret the day I was born."
Magrat finally gets annoyed.

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