If there was crime, there should be punishment. If the specific criminal should be involved in the punishment process then this was a happy accident, but if not then any criminal would do, and since everyone was undoubtedly guilty of something, the net result was that, in general terms, justice was done.

Noon began
Noon in Ankh-Morpork took some time, since twelve o'clock was established by consensus. Generally, the first bell to start was that one in the Teachers' Guild, in response to the universal prayers of its members. Then the water clock on the Temple of Small Gods would trigger the big bronze gong. The black bell in the Temple of Fate struck once, unexpectedly, but by then the silver pedal-driven carillon in the Fools' Guild would be tinkling, the gongs, bells and chimes of all the Guilds and temples would be in full swing, and it was impossible to tell them apart, except for the tongueless and magical octiron bell of Old Tom in the Unseen University clock tower, whose twelve measured silences temporarily overruled the din.

Cuddy had only been a guard for a few days, but already he had absorbed one important and basic fact: it is almost impossible for anyone to be in a street without breaking the law.

The Battle of Koom Valley is the only one known to history where both sides ambushed each other.
Troll / Dwarf incompatability goes back a long way, as does their memory of it.

Carrot was two metres tall but he'd been brought up as a dwarf, and then further up as a human.

'Young Edward thinks that there is no lake of blood too big to wade through to put a rightful king on a throne, no deed too base in defence of a crown. A romantic, in fact.'
Lord Rust describing Edward d'Eath.

The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.

He was said to have the body of a twenty-five year old, although no one knew where he kept it.
The Life and Times of Corporal Nobbs.

'Pride is all very well, but a sausage is a sausage.'
Gaspode, of course.

The river Ankh is probably the only river in the universe on which the investigators can chalk the outline of the corpse.

The Alchemist's Guild is opposite the Gambler's Guild. Usually. Sometimes it's above it, or below it, or falling in bits around it.

Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease and burnt crunchy bits.

Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

Being a werewolf meant having the dexterity and jaw power to instantly rip out a man's jugular. It was a trick of her father's that had always annoyed her mother, especially when he did it just before meals.

The door was still ajar, but there was a tentative tap on it which said, in a kind of metaphorical morse code, that the tapper could see very well that Carrot was in his room with a scantily clad woman and was trying to knock without actually being heard.

It's got three keyboards and a hundred extra knobs, including twelve with '?' on them.'
The Unseen University Organ, as designed by B. S. Johnson.

'Hi-ho--'
'--hi-ho--'
'Oook oook oook oook ook--'
'You all stupid!'
'I can't help it. It's my nearly-dwarfish blood. We just like singing underground. It comes naturally to us.'
'All right, but why him singing? Him ape.'
'He's a people person.'

From the back, Vetinari looked like a carnivorous flamingo.

The Patrician relaxed, in a way which only then drew gentle attention to the foregoing moment of tension.

"He only drinks when he gets depressed," said Carrot.
"Why does he get depressed?"
"Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink."
Carrot and Angua discussing Vimes' drinking.

People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable.

It's generally very quiet in the Unseen University library. There's perhaps the shuffling of feet as wizards wander between shelves, the occasional hacking cough to disturb the academic silence, and every once in a while a dying scream as an unwary student fails to treat an old magical book with the caution it deserves.

"It seemed....I don't know.....sacrilege, I suppose, to dismantle it. It'd be like dismantling a person."
"Dismantling a person is sometimes necessary," said Lord Vetinari.
Idealistic inventor talks to pragmatic politician.

Dissecting people when they were still alive tended to be a priestly occupation; they thought mankind had been created by some sort of divine being and wanted to have a closer look at His handiwork.

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