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Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the 'Marie Celeste', and the chuck keys for electric drills.


What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is:
'Why is it so dark in here?'


All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.


"The trouble with you, Ibid," he said, "is that you think you're the biggest bloody authority on everything."
More Discworld philosophers


The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.


There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.


'Therefore I will have dinner sent in,' said the priest. 'It will be roast chicken.'
'I hate chicken.'
Dios smiled. 'No sire. On Wednesdays the King always enjoys chicken, sire.'


It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was, of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free.


The Assassins didn't have a very strenuous entrance examination: the school was easy to get into, easy to get out of (the trick was to get out upright).
Grading on the curve...


There was a notice on the dune. It said, in several languages: AXIOM TESTING STATION. Below it, in slightly smaller writing, it added: CAUTION - UNRESOLVED POSTULATES


"Brethren!" he cried.
"Excuse me," said the priestess of Sarduck.
"And sistren -------"


Throughout the history of the Disc most priests have been serious, pious and conscientious men who have done their best to interpret the wishes of the gods, sometimes disembowelling or flaying alive hundreds of people in a day in order to make sure they're getting it absolutely right.


This means that either the universe is more full of wonders than we can hope to understand or, more probably, that scientists make things up as they go along.
Something we've all harboured dark suspicions about...


"What does 'quantum' mean, anyway?"
"It means 'Add another nought.'"
"Oh, is that all?"


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