Once upon a time, there was Discworld. There is still an adequate supply.

Magicians and scientists are, on the face of it, poles apart. Certainly, a group of people who often dress strangely, live in a world of their own, speak a specialised language and frequently make statements that appear to be in flagrant breach of common-sense have nothing in common with a group of people who often dress strangely, speak a specialised language, live in... er...

This was turning out to be the longest winter in living memory - so long, in fact, that living memory itself was being shortened as some of the older citizens succumbed.

Wizards can put up with any amount of deprivation and discomfort, provided it is not happening to them.
Wizards aren't the only ones.

Ponder reflected that egg on the face is only of minor concern when the face is part of a cloud of particles expanding outwards at an appreciable fraction of the speed of dark.
[ footnote: As yet unmeasured, but believed to be faster than light owing to its ability to move so quickly out of light's way.]

And the wizards looked upon the universe that was growing within the little sphere and spake amongst themselves, saying 'It's rather a small one, don't you think? Is it dinner time yet?'
Great minds in action.

...the ancient principle of WYGIWYGAINGW.
[ footnote: What You Get Is What You're Given And It's No Good Whining.]
A principle Ridcully obviously only applies to others.

Even a really bad creator would at least have started with Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Surprise.
The Four... sorry... Five Basic Elements of the Universe.

If you built a guillotine, and then put a sign on it saying 'Do Not Put Your Head On This Block', many wizards would never have to buy a hat again.

It was easy to respect an invisible god. It was the ones that turned up everywhere, often drunk, that put people off.

"Let us suppose that in some way this world has got both water that likes moons and water that can't stand moons at any price. If it's got about the same amount of both, then that at least explains why there seems to be high tides on both sides at once. I think we can dispose of the Invisible Moon theory, interesting though it was, Dean."
Ponder Stibbons attempts to explain Roundworld's tides.

"It's not his job to be confused," said Ridcully. "We don't need a machine for being confused. We're entirely capable of confusin' ourselves."
The Archchancellor has firm views on Hex's place in the scheme of things.

"Didn't they try to communicate with you in any way ?"
"They just flailed away with great big whiskers! It was worse than watching wizards arguing!"
"Yes, I doubt if they are very intelligent."
"Well, nor are the rock pool creatures."
Rincewind does not appear to hold a high opinion on his fellow wizards.

Civilization would not survive for long if it was generally known that a wrong turn in the stacks would lead into the Library of Alexandria just as the invaders were looking for the matches, or that a tiny patch of floor in the reference section is shared with the library in Braseneck College where Dr Whitbury proved that gods cannot possibly exist, just before that rather unfortunate thunderstorm.
L-space is not a place for any but the most experienced of librarians.

"And then it's nothing but frozen death, the tea-time of the gods and an eternity of cold."
"Sniffleheim," said the Dean, who'd got to the sherry ahead of everyone else.

"Any of it looking intelligent ?" said Ridcully.
"I'm not certain how we'd spot that at this stage..."
"Simple. Is anything killing something it doesn't intend to eat?"

In fact, 'not this bit' has never been accepted as a valid part of any magical invocation, ever since the late Funnit the Forgetful tried to use it as a last-minute addition to his famously successful spell to destroy the entire tree he was sitting in.

Rincewind had already started to run. The fact that nothing can harm you is no reason for not being scared. An expert can always find a reason for being scared.
The fact that the nearest trunk had toenails was a good one.
Rather a strange 'tree'..

"Well, there have been historical examples of mass extinction," said Ponder.
"Yes, but only as a result of argumentative wizardry."

The apemen had taken to fire quite quickly, after a few misdirected attempts to eat it or have sex with it, and several of them had progressed to setting fire to themselves.
The Librarian interferes.

The RULES.
1. Things fall apart, but centres hold.
2. Everything moves in curves.
3. You get balls.
4. Big balls tell space to bend.
5. There are no turtles anywhere (except ordinary ones).
6. Life turns up everwhere it can.
7. Life turns up everywhere it can't.
8. There is something like narrativium.
9. There may be something called bloodimindium (see rule 7).
Ponder Stibbons tries to rationalise Roundworld.

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