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In most old libraries the books are chained to the shelves to prevent them being damaged by people. In the library of the Unseen University, of course, it's more or less the other way about.


The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it.
Discworld wildlife.


'It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it,' said War testily, 'the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse.'
The Four Horsemen of the Apocralypse encounter unexpected difficulties.


It wasn't blood in general he couldn't stand the sight of, it was just his blood in particular that was so upsetting.


'I'm not going to ride on a magic carpet!' he hissed. 'I'm afraid of grounds.'
'You mean heights,' said Conina. 'And stop being silly.'
'I know what I mean! It's the grounds that kill you!'


It became apparent that one reason why the Ice Giants were known as the Ice Giants was because they were, well, giants. The other was that they were made of ice.


'I meant,' said Iplsore bitterly, 'what is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?'
Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually, CATS ARE NICE.
Death is obviously not a dog person.


He did of course sometimes have people horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be perfectly acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally approved of by the overhelming majority of citizens.
[ footnote: The overhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpion pit. ]


There were a few seconds of total silence as everyone waited to see what would happen next. And then Nijel uttered the battle cry that Rincewind would never quite forget to the end of his life. 'Erm,' he said, 'excuse me...'


Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.


The subject of wizards and sex is a complicated one, but as has already been indicated it does, in essence, boil down to this: when it comes to wine, women and song, wizards are allowed to get drunk and croon as much as they like.


"So they'll kill you, it's not the end of the world."
"It will be for me," thought Rincewind, grimly.


.....Rincewind quit the University with all the other insects and small frightened rodents and decided that if a few quiet beers wouldn't allow him to see things in a different light, then a few more probably would.


It was said that everything in Ankh-Morpork was for sale except for the beer and the women, both of which one merely hired.


"Psst," it said.
"Not very," said Rincewind, who was in a state of mind where he couldn't resist it, "but I'm working on it."
RinceWind starts hearing voices.


The temporal ruler of the sprawling city of Ankh-Morpork was sitting in his chair at the foot of the steps leading up to the throne, looking for any signs of intelligence in the intelligence reports.


"But she's a ---" Rincewind hesitated. "She's of the female persuasion...." he muttered.
"...so was your mother..."
"Yes, well, but she ran away before I was born," Rincewind mumbled.


He had the look of someone who could think his way through a corkscrew without bending.....
Enter the evil vizier....


"If we get a chance," whispered Rincewind to Nijel, "we run, right?"
"Where to?"
"From," said Rincewind, "the important word is from."
Rincewind explains his personal philosophy to Nijel.


Birds nested among the gutters and eaves of Unseen University, although it was noticeable that however great the pressure on the nesting sites they never, ever, made nests in the invitingly open mouths of the gargoyles that lined to rooftops, much to the gargoyles' disappointment.
More Discworld wildlife.


"My father always said that it was pointless to undertake a direct attack against an enemy extensively armed with efficient projectile weapons," she said.
Rincewind, who knew Cohen's normal method of speech, gave her a look of disbelief.
"Well, what he actually said," she added, "was never enter an arse-kicking contest with a porcupine."


After that one thing sort of led to another and pretty soon everyone was fighting to get something -- either away, out or even.
The physics of a bar-brawl.


Rincewind had staggered off down the tunnel, making little shocked noises and completely ignoring the stones that were missing him by inches, and, in some cases, hitting him by kilograms.


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