The word 'fat' could not honestly be applied to him, not when the word 'gross' was lumbering forward to catch your attention.
Enter Sgt Jackrum ...

Polly watched as a farm boy, breeches held up with string, shuffled in front of the table and looked at the quill pen with the resentful perplexity of those confronted with new technology.

"Were you a good fighter at school?" said Vimes.
"No, your grace, but no one could beat me over the one-hundred-yard dash."
Vimes meets Clarence Chinny, the Ankh-Morpork consul to Zlobenia.

There are some conversations where you don't even want people to remember you were in the same room.

It was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.

The four lesser horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance and Shouting took control of the room, to Corporal Strappi's obscene glee.

"So you think you're smart, Parts?" he said.
"No, corporal."
"Oh? So you're stupid, are you?"
"Well, I did enlist, corporal," said Polly, meekly.

She'd be funny just as long as she was useless, and safe as long as she was funny.

There was something odd about him, although you had to bear in mind he was currently sitting next to Wazzer, who had enough odd for everybody and was probably contagious ...

"They keep you down and when they piss off some other country, you have to fight for them. It's only your country when they want you to get killed!" said Tonker.
Plus ca change...

"I guess one-tenth of nothing is not as bad as nothing, but I was never that good at philosophy."
Corporal Threeparts Scallot waxing philosophical...

"He is an enemy officer taken in battle and entitled to fair treatment."
"No, sir. He's a sergeant, and they don't deserve no respect at all, sir. I should know. They're cunning and artful, if they're any good. I wouldn't mind if he was a officer, sir. But sergeants are clever."
Lieutenant Blouse's military education proceeds apace...

"Steal the boots off a dead man, sarge?" said Wazzer, still in shock.
"Easier than getting them off a live one!"
...as does Wazzer's.

The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to those who think they've found it.

The woman's face cracked into a smile as glutinous as slug gravy.

"When in doubt, kick 'em in the nadgers and scarper."
More secrets of military strategy from Sgt Jackrum.

"...we can hang ourselves before they do it."
"I'm told it's a very painful way to die," said Polly.
"Who by?" said Tonker.
He ... sorry ... she has got a point there.

"And what authority has this tribunal got?" said Polly coldly.
"Thousands of men under arms," said Clogston.
You can't get much more authoritative than that.

"The trouble is, when you say to a general 'You and whose army?' he just has to point out the window."
Major Clogston has a way of putting things in their proper perspective.

"You are hereby promoted to sergeant major, and a better candidate for the job I have never met. You are steeped in deviousness, cunning and casual criminality, Sergeant Jackrum. You should do well."
The Duchess is under no illusions about the character of her army's NCOs.

"... I've been to a lot of foreign countries and met some very interesting people, who I mostly subsequently killed before they could do me over good and proper."
Sgt Jackrum looks back on an 'interesting' career in the armed forces.

When they're laughing at you, their guard is down. When their guard is down, you can kick them in the fracas.
Sentiments worthy of Tacticus at his best.

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