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"The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret"
William de Worde is a young aristocrat who has scorned the usual aristocratic pastimes of going out into the countryside to kill things, or joining the army to kill foreigners. Instead he makes a few dollars out of the newsletters he sends to other towns regarding the goings-on in Ankh-Morpork.
But now the dwarves have come up with a solution looking for a problem, the first moveable-print press in Discworld's history, and William finds himself pitchforked into the job of journalist and editor of Ankh-Morpork's first daily newspaper -- and, in the process, finds that politicians with things to hide, cops with crimes to solve, and lawyers with writs to serve can make life somewhat more than 'interesting' for members of the fifth estate.
We get to find out a bit more about the Bursar; and also that not all vampires are nasty so-and-sos -- some of them have taken the Pledge, after all, "A life of steak tartare wasn't too bad if you compared it with a death of stake au naturelle..."
But there are a couple of right villains, Mr Tulip and Mr Pin, making life very difficult (but death very easy) for anyone who gets in their way...
....and lies can run around the world before truth could get its boots on.
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Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed.
And on Discworld that's the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater -- how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time.
But the construction of the Disc's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice, Lobsang Ludd.
Of course that will only be the start of everyone's problems.
With a full supporting cast of heroes and villains, yetis, martial artists, and Ronnie, the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse (who left before they made it big)...
...and always -- hovering in the background, just out of the corner of your eye -- there are the Auditors...
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The Last Hero
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He's been a legend in his own lifetime.
He can remember the great days of high adventure.
He can remember when a hero didn't have to worry about fences and lawyers and civilisation.
He can remember when people didn't tell you off for killing dragons.
But he can't always rember, these days, where he put his teeth . . .
He's really not happy about that bit.
So Cohen the Barbarian has gathered his old friends together (and we mean old friends), and he's off on a final quest to return to the gods what the first hero stole - with a vengeance.
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The Amazing Maurice And His Educated Rodents
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Maurice the cat first realised there was something educated about the rats when he jumped on one and it'd said, "Can we talk about this?"
If there was one thing that Maurice had learned in life, it was: Don't eat anything that glows. But, apparently, the rats that lived adjacent to Unseen University in the unreal estate - which just happened to be where all the rubbish, household slops and failed experiments from UU got dumped - hadn't learned this.
And they had caught that most pernicious of diseases - intelligence.
Maurice, being higher up the food-chain, now also suffered that same malady.
So, of course, if you throw together a tribe of educated ra . . . errr . . . rodents, a cat with the commercial savvy (and ethics) of a CMOT Dibbler, and a young man who can play the piper, you have the makings of a useful little Rid-The-Village-Of-A-Rat-Infestation scam - for a fee.
Until you come to the village of Bad Blintz.
Something here is not right.
In fact, something here is downright evil . . .
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His Grace, the Duke of Ankh (aka Sam Vimes) has got it made - money, title, wife, a kid on the way - but he still hankers after the good old days ... err ... nights, on the beat with Ankh-Morpork's not-so-finest, the Treacle Mine Road night watch.
Of course he still tries to keep his hand in, although he's a commander now (with gilded armour and all) and that's why he finds himself chasing a psychopathic killer around the Wizard's Balls on the roof of Unseen University with an incredible storm brewing.
A flash of lightning, and suddenly he's back in his own rough tough past without even the armour he stood up in.
Living in the past is hard, but dying in the past is incredibly easy.
But Sam must survive - he's got a job to do, only part of which is to teach his younger self how to survive and be a good copper.
Revolution is in the air, and for a real copper, the primary aim is to protect the people in his care - even if it is from their own bloody-mindedness.
The Glorious Peoples' Republic of Treacle Mine Road - Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably-Priced Love ... and a Hard-Boiled Egg!
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There's trouble brewing oop on t'Wold - a monster with eyes the size of soup plates in the river, a headless horseman on the farm-track and nightmares seeping up from the very soil.
And now Tiffany Aching's young brother, Wentworth, has been stolen by the Queen of the Fairies ... not that Tiffany cared passionately for him - although he came in handy as bait for river monsters - but he was her brother, and nobody had the right to take him away.
The whole mess just cries out to be sorted by a witch - but everybody knows that chalk country can't produce proper witches, you need solid rock underfoot for that.
But, as Granny Aching used to say, "Them as can do, has to do for them as can't. And someone has to speak up for them as has no voices."
So it falls to Tiffany to do what she can, armed with a cast-iron frying pan and her granny's magic book (Diseases of the Sheep), single-handedly apart from a slightly presumptuous toad ... oh, and a horde of fightin', thievin', drinkin', tiny blue-skinned pictsies who were thrown out of Fairyland for being Drunk and Disorderly - the Nac Mac Feegle.
"Nac Mac Feegle! The Wee Free Men! Nae king! Nae quin! Nae laird! Nae master! We willna' be fooled again!"
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There's a war on ... there's always a war on.
Borogravia is surrounded by treacherous, devious, warlike neighbours. They must be treacherous, devious and warlike, otherwise Borogravia wouldn't be always be fighting them, eh?
And now Polly Perks' big brother is missing in action, so Polly has to become Oliver in order to join the ranks and try to find him.
Cutting off her golden locks and learning to wear trousers is easy - but learning to belch and fart in public and walk like an ape takes more time.
Borogravia is really scraping the bottom of the barrel with its latest bunch of recruits. Besides Polly there's a vampire, an Igor and a troll - and some of the others are not all that they seem either.
And so it's off to the front under the tutelage of the most artful sergeant in this man's army, to see if the 'monstrous regiment' can make a difference.
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